How You Know You are Married to a Man

I tried calling my husband yesterday afternoon to let him know that I had picked up some of his favorite beer. When he didn't answer, I texted him, "Bought you a case of Augustiner, don't need to talk." He came home so excited, he said it was the best text message he had ever gotten. He had plenty of beer at home and he didn't even have to call me back.

How to Leash Train your Cat

I thought this article was funny and I already know that I won't be taking part. Between the most willful cat ever and the most scared cat ever, I don't think I would get too far. Once, Nick and I were looking for a little entertainment, and put one of our dog's old harnesses on our cat The Sir. Instead of trying to get it out of it, he decided that his best defense would be to play dead. He stood for a moment and then flopped on his side and refused to move. Now that's survival. Nick and were literally rolling on the floor laughing for 20 minutes. We didn't get out much that year. Another cat story. Stop reading now if you can't take anymore. When I was growing up, my parents had a cat, Noodle, who was routinely quarantined because he attacked neighborhood children and the guy living on our couch. Around that time my parents started leash training Noodle and Bon-Bon (the mother of all cats, in more ways than one). It was interesting to say the least, walking a cat on a leash, since they are notoriously skittish and we probably looked pretty strange, thinking we had a cat who could be taught dog behavior. If we had kept it up, the cats might have gotten the hang of it, but the thought that at any moment you could have a scared poo-less cat hanging from the seat of your jeans was none too appealing. They did become "line trained" or we tied them to a tree in the back yard so they could enjoy the great outdoors. That went on until a neighbor cat wandered into the back yard looking for a fight. My mom scooped Noodle up, to save him the embarrassment of being a "line trained" cat and Noodle decided to try to eat my mom's hand. She actually had to have surgery because the infection she got was so big. My parents now have a screened in porch. But walk your cat if you want to. I'll be laughing at you.

None for me, Thanks.

How to use a Bidet


I have always wondered about this, but now I'm pretty sure I will never use one.